The 2004

Madonna Reinvention

Reanimation Tour

It's time for the Queen of the Dead, er, "Pop" to go on world tour again

PHOTOS. Would you like to purchase any of the following photos? Madonna is selling them on quality archival paper. No true fan can do without! Get yours today! Photos . . . $5,000 ea.

HAIR NET. Don't forget to pick up a Madonna hair net - or two - or three - because you want to emulate the latest Madonna look, the "Lunch Lady," "Cafeteria Girl" fashion (see photo above)! Hair net . . . $250.00 ea.

And hurry it up already. Madonna needs money for more Ben-Gay, Kaballah water, a new Mini Cooper, and a Britney Spears inflatable doll (don't ask)

Above: Oh you saucy Madonna! See how she challenges up-tight, prudish morés by having a young man writhe about in sexual ecstasy as he clutches one of her legs.

I know that my conservative sensibilities are shocked to find out that people have sex and enjoy it. Thanks, Madonna, for opening my eyes.

And it's bound to land her on the covers of People, US Weekly and LIFE magazines! Madonna can be my feminist role model anytime. You go girl!

When her botox fails, Madonna's skin naturally reverts to its wrinkley raisin and prune- like state, as is the case here.

Above, we see her (far right, huge blonde wig) practicing one routine that's a throwback to her Girlie Show tour of the 1990s.

Above: Madonna on stage (center, in coffin) with back-up dancers

As you can see, Madonna gets rather dehydrated during these grueling rehearsals if she doesn't drink her $14 a bottle Kaballah water often. And of course death is pretty hard on the complexion too.